One night, not too long after I’d gotten married, I was hanging out with my buddy, Pete. We were discussing the highs and lows of being a step-parent. Pete had grown up in the care of a step-father, while I had recently become one. The current topic was my step-son.

“I tell ya’ what, man.” Pete grinned. “he’s turning out to be a pretty handsome cat. How are you going to keep him, y’know, out of trouble?” He nodded at me in a “wink-wink-grin-grin-say-no-more-squire” fashion.

“Easy,” I replied. We’re raising him to be a geek.” Continue reading →

I initially wrote this under the pseudonym Doc Tarrasque for the now defunct humor website, FupDuck.com. I’ve always been happy with how the piece turned out. It seemed appropriate to update it and publish it here. Happy New Year!

At the start of each year, I like to take a few days off of work to sit back, focus, and think about the direction my life is going in. One subject that routinely gets pondered on during this little siesta is my health, or, rather, my lack of health. This year was no different. And while I have many friends who would probably club me to death if they ever heard me gripe about my weight, the fact is that I no longer posses the spry form I once maintained in my youth. So, in an effort to stem the physical effects of my gamer lifestyle, I am slowly weeding out those foods from my diet that are unhealthy. That is to say, I’m eating fewer foods that make me happy, such as juicy, red-centered, medium-rare steaks topped with runny Gorgonzola, and eating more foods that make me very, very unhappy. Foods like sardines, broccoli, and the most soul crushing of all, yogurt. Continue reading →