No Sh!t, I Review a Non-Alcoholic Beer

Sober January has come and gone. And, despite the misgivings I expressed in my previous post, I made it through without incident. However, there was one day, a Saturday, where my friends were gathering at a local brewery. I RSVP’ed as a “no” for the meeting since I didn’t want to put myself in the way of a Peterbilt truck worth of temptation. Yet, the thought of having a beer that evening wormed its way into my head and would not get out. I just really wanted the experience of drinking a beer. Not for the sake of inebriation, but more for the ritual: the bouquet of hops, the tickling of carbonation mixed with the a mouthful of sweetness. Then I remembered reading somewhere that non-alcoholic beers were having a moment. So, I Googled “non-alcoholic beer”.

“Phwoom!” went my phone’s news feed with article after article about n/a brews. It seems that near-beer had come quite a very long way since my hometown friends and I drank Kaliber over D&D during Christmas break in college. In all the articles one brewery’s name kept rising to the top: Athletic Brewing Company. Intrigued, I made my way to the local grocery store to pick up a six-pack of the type of beer I was craving.

This is not a review of that beer.

Hmm? Oh, the beer I got that night did its job. It scratched the itch far better than I anticipated it would. Yet it was not the sort of beer I would buy again. But it did encourage me to try another from Athletic’s lineup.

This is a review of that beer. If you follow the posts around Athletic Brewing you will see one beer referenced over and over again by all the influencers: Free Wave Hazy IPA. But how close does drinking a Free Wave come to the experience of drinking a full fledged, alcoholic version. As I see it, we’ve got four parameters to meet to get to “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Alcoholic Beer!” level.

  1. Does it look like beer?
  2. Does it smell like beer?
  3. Does it (mouth) feel like beer?
  4. Does it taste like beer?

Before I dive into my thoughts on the beer itself, I have a disclosure to make. I have drank Free Wave several times prior to writing this review. So the review is not going to be as much of a train-of-thought experience as most of my prior reviews. However the fact that I have had this beer numerous times prior to this review should be a bit of a spoiler.

Ignore the photo above for a moment, because when my first can of Free Wave was poured into a tulip glass I had on hand, and not the Athletic Brewing branded one you see above. While the ale was a pale orange like many IPAs I had enjoyed in the past, it wasn’t quite as cloudy as some of my favorite hazy IPAs. While pouring, a clean, white head bubbled to the top of the glass. Does it look like beer? Yes, yes it does. We are one for one.

Next came what is probably my favorite part of trying a new beer, picking out the aromas. I brought the glass up to my nose and was pleasantly surprised by what I caught. Definite floral notes laced with some heavy citrus. This beer’s nose oozes pineapple when it first hits the glass. Does it smell like beer? Oh, my. Yes it does. Two for two.

At this point my interest was beyond piqued. I was stoked, to be honest. Had I found a true replacement for high ABV IPAs? I took a huge swallow and let it wash around in my mouth. The mouthfeel was. . . OK. It reminded me of some of my early attempts at brewing beer from kits, before I got into full grain brewing. Definitely on the thin side. More like what you would expect from a mass-produced American lager than a full-bodied ale. Still, the carbonation was right on the money. Does it feel like beer? Yeah, sure. Just not a great one. Still, three for three.

As I swished the beer around in my mouth, I tried to put words to the flavors I was experiencing. It wasn’t a bad tasting beer. However there was no confusing it with Hazy Miss Daisy or any of my other favorite hazy IPAs. That malty sweetness mingling with the bitterness of hops that I love about a great IPA just was not there. The hop flavor was there, especially in the after taste. Yet something else was missing. Does it taste like beer? Not really. It’s not bad tasting. It’s just not a true IPA.

Still, three out of four is not bad at all, especially when you weigh it against the other benefits of drinking a non-alcoholic beverage. There is no risk of hangover. It is much lower in calories and carbs. Aside from a risking a full bladder, drinking a few at night won’t interrupt your sleep. I know I dinged it on taste and on body, but I really am heartened by how far near-beer has come since the 80’s. So much so, that I signed up for Athletic Brewing’s subscription service. NOTE: I am not being sponsored or compensated for this in any way. There are beers that they only offer online, and I want to try them. Already I have found a beer through their subscription service that has become my daily driver, so to speak. But that is a review for another time.

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